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What Men Really Want

March 8, 2010 by edward

Women often say that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn't worked so no, the man can concentrate on pleasing them or leave. If the media is to be believed, many women don't care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality and are comfortable in their new role as sexually liberated career woman in charge of their own destiny. In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn't matter whether that view is actually true or not. What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world. The Armed Forces and Space programs quite rightly have very highly qualified career women working in their departments and in most aspects of industry, women excel. The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it's a problem for men and they should deal with it. Absolutely, but you cannot expect miracles instantly. Generations of history dictating a man's role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout. Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same time, one must expect issues to coincide with this. And one of those as I said is the question of understanding what the modern man is looking for.

First Date Tips

March 4, 2010 by edward

This post is from MatchAffinity.co.uk

First Date Tips - By Dr Cecilia d'Felice, Clinical Psychologist

You have made contact; you like the look of each other and your messages and emails are fun, full of life, promising and hopeful. You take the plunge and decide to make a date! You choose a place to meet that suits you both, remembering that first dates are best arranged as drinks or coffee. Dinner, lunch or a trip can feel too long if it is not working out for you both, but a casual drink can give you enough time to know if you would like to spend longer with each other on another occasion. It's all set to go! The excitement rises, as do your nerves. We want to make the best impression we can and it can feel as if the stakes are very high for that first, important meeting.

Be your own best-friend

When preparing yourself for your first date, be generous and compassionate towards yourself. Most first date nerves are generated by being overly critical, undermining and self-sabotaging yourself. You wouldn't say to your best friend before a date, 'You look tired/old/unattractive...' or 'What is that THING you are wearing!' So why say it to yourself? It will only make you feel unconfident and erode your self-esteem. So, to get yourself into a good place before your first date become your own best-friend. Remind yourself of all your positive qualities, what you care about and what you value. Taking these things along with you on the date will make you feel good about yourself and if you feel good about yourself, you date is going to feel good about you too.
Relax and Prepare

How to Start a Relationship from Dating a Stranger

March 4, 2010 by edward

How to Start a Relationship from Dating a Stranger

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Don't beat around the bush, make it clear what you want from this stranger, you'll be surprised that if you exude confidence and charm, many women are willing to be open.
Steps

1. You can meet someone anywhere.
2. Walk up to the person you are interested in and talk about random things. Be advised that unless you have some kind of 'something to say', you might frighten who you are talking to.
3. Build a rapport by flirting a bit...don't go too far.
4. Sometime during the conversation exchange names.
5. Continue flirting. Maintain some eye contact.
6. Assess whether closing in for their phone number would be ideal.
7. If ideal, go ahead and see if you can their phone number; ex: Is she flirting back? Has she mentioned a possible boyfriend?
8. Ask for the number by saying something like: "It was nice meeting you, unfortunately I have to go, but I would really like to continue this conversation. Can I get your number so we can get together sometime."
9. Proceed to pull out your cellphone, enter her phone number.
10. Call it so she has yours.
11. Say good-bye and leave.
12. Wait for a day.
13. Call. If no answers, leave a brief but informative message such as:
* "Hi, it's Tom, we met while we were walking to class. I had a good time talking to you and I'm interested in hearing from you. Give me a call back at (insert time you're not busy) at this number (insert number) I'll talk to you later.
* Or if your call is answered, "Hey (Mary) it's Tom, we met on the way to class. How are you doing? I don't have much time, but I would like to see you again. I'm going to do lunch today at 3, would you like to join me?" If she says yes, set up a location and time for the lunch meeting.

Know yourself

February 28, 2010 by edward

This post is from MatchAffinity.co.uk
Know yourself - By Dr Cecilia d'Felice, Clinical Psychologist

Before launching yourself back into the exciting world of dating, take a few moments to think about where you are at. So often we go into relationships hoping that somehow the other person will complete us, becoming our other half. Whilst this might happen for some couples, most of us need to acknowledge our individuality. We might not want to merge completely with someone else, although it often feels like this is what happens when we fall in love. The reality is that we are two separate people, with different ways of thinking, living, working, caring and loving.

What are you looking for?

Take a moment to think about the sort of person you really want to be with now. In the past you might have been attracted to 'bad boys' or 'naughty girls'. These characteristics are always going to be attractive but they might not really be what you need in a relationship that has the potential to last. Think about your checklist of what your ideal is: write it all down, from the colour of their hair to the size of their feet. Now throw that list away. Most of what is written on it won't help you find the person that will make you happy.
Values

Relationships that are built to last are founded on two key things. One is similarity - yes it's true - the more similar we are to our partner in background, shape and attractiveness, the longer the relationship is likely to last. This is because we like to see ourselves in others, which is why couples often look the same. The other vital thing is shared values. If you have common goals, beliefs and ambitions then you have a good chance of enjoying a happy and fulfilling relationship. Without shared values, well frankly, it's going to be a bit of a struggle. It's not that it won't work; it's just that there will be more conflict.

What are yours?